Our Top Tips for New Parents

When you bring your baby home from the hospital, they don't come with an instruction manual. In this article, we set out 11 tips for new parents to help them navigate these early days.

1. Trust your instincts

Family, friends and professionals will all give you advice. They may know a lot about babies in general, or a lot about their baby, but you know a lot about one baby — your baby.

Remember that most advice is just a suggestion. An option or a tool you can add to your kit bag and try out. If it works for you - great! If it doesn’t, that's ok because something else will.

Many of the early days are trial and error while you work out what your baby likes. Trust your instincts; you will recognise when they are happy and find the strategies that work best for both of you.

Tips:

• Keep a baby journal: Write down your baby’s routines, preferences, and any new things you notice. This can help you track patterns and feel more confident in understanding your baby’s needs.

  
  

• Listen to your baby’s cues: Babies communicate through their body language, facial expressions, and sounds. Over time, you’ll learn to distinguish between a hungry cry, a tired cry, or a cry for comfort.

  
  

• Consult when necessary: While trusting your instincts is important, don’t hesitate to consult with a healthcare provider if something doesn’t feel right. It’s always better to be cautious and get professional reassurance.

  
  

  I had personal experience of this with both of my babies. At around six weeks, my eldest son caught a cold; we were worried because he had a temperature and also worried we were overreacting. We weren't, and he ended up spending a week in the hospital while he recovered. By the same token, we took our second son to the hospital when he was just one week old because we were worried his breathing pattern had changed. It turned out to be completely normal, and we returned home exhausted but reassured. Even though this turned out to be something we didn't need to worry about, the doctors told us it was still the right decision to have it checked.

  
  

  In both instances, we started by telephoning the government-provided medical helpline, where a triage nurse advised us on the best course of action. In New Zealand, you can call Healthline for advice over the phone if you ever feel unsure. The service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

2. “Fit your mask first”

Looking after yourself is critical and shouldn’t be an afterthought.

• Eat well and keep hydrated. Drink lots of water - especially if you are feeding your baby breastmilk. If people offer to bring you meals, graciously accept. Your job right now is looking after your baby.

• Sleep when the baby is asleep. While this is easier said than done, remember that the housework and other jobs will wait. Even if you can't sleep when your baby sleeps, resting your feet up is still beneficial.

• Go easy on the housework. There will always be a job you could be doing, but spending time with your baby and allowing yourself to rest is your main focus for this period of your life. Cook easy meals that you enjoy eating. Batch cooking and freezing extra is helpful for days that don’t quite go to plan. Let your partner help around the house — you don’t have to do it alone.

• Make time for yourself. Find time for a shower. Read a book or a magazine or spend some time doing something else you enjoy. Take a walk. Exercise is good for your mental health, and most babies enjoy a ride in the pram or in a front pack. If that feels too hard, just opening your door and getting some fresh air for a few minutes can make a world of difference and give you a renewed bump of energy to tackle the next task.

Tip:

• Create a Self-Care Routine: Whether it’s a five-minute meditation, a short walk, or a quiet cup of tea, find small ways to nurture yourself every day. A little self-care can go a long way in boosting your energy and mood.

  
  

3. Don't try to be perfect

Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs but also one of the most rewarding. Be kind to yourself and try not to feel discouraged if you don’t achieve a goal you set. If you fall down, get back up, and try something else. Ask for help if you need it. Remember — it takes a village.

Tips:

• Practice Self-Compassion: Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend in the same situation. Acknowledge your efforts and remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can.

  
  

• Ask for Help: Lean on your partner, family, or friends for support. Whether it’s a few hours of babysitting or help with errands, asking for help can relieve some of the pressure.

  
  

• Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that you can’t do it all, and that’s OK. Prioritise the most important tasks and let go of the rest. Your well-being is crucial for your baby’s well-being.

4. Embrace the Fourth Trimester

The first three months after birth are often referred to as the "fourth trimester." This period is an extension of your baby’s time in the womb and a critical time for bonding and adjustment. During this phase, your baby is getting used to the outside world, and they crave closeness and comfort.

Embrace the need for extra cuddles, skin-to-skin contact, and frequent feedings. This stage will soon pass, and you will miss it. This is a time to slow down, soak in the newness, and bond deeply with your baby. The dishes will wait.

Tip: 

• Consider babywearing as it allows your baby to feel secure while giving you the freedom to move around. It’s a wonderful way to keep your baby close while getting things done.

  
  

• Accept help from friends and whānau - a freezer full of healthy, re-heatable meals makes managing days where your baby is cluster feeding or fussy much easier.

5. Build Your Support Network

You don’t have to do it all on your own. Whether it's whānau, friends, or a local parents’ group, having a support network is invaluable. These people can offer advice, a listening ear, or practical help when you need it most. Don’t hesitate to ask for help, whether it's for a chat, a meal, or someone to watch the baby while you take a break.

There are also many friendly online communities, and these can be great support options—especially when you need someone else to pick you up in the middle of the night!

Tip: 

• Join a Parenting Class or local Bubs Group. Many communities offer parenting classes or support groups where you can meet other new parents. These can be great for building friendships and sharing experiences in a supportive environment. Sharing experiences and learning from others in the same life stage can be incredibly comforting and empowering.

6. Understanding Baby’s Sleep Patterns

Newborns sleep a lot, but often not for long stretches at a time. Understanding your baby’s sleep cues and patterns can help you establish a routine that works for both of you. Remember, it’s normal for babies to wake frequently during the night, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

Tips: 

• Create a calming bedtime routine that might include a warm bath, a gentle massage, and a lullaby. Consistency can help signal to your baby that it’s time to sleep.

  
  

• Swaddling can help your baby feel secure and sleep more soundly by mimicking the snugness of the womb. Just be sure to follow safe swaddling guidelines to avoid overheating.

  
  

• White Noise: Babies are used to the constant noise of the womb. A white noise machine or app can help soothe your baby and block out other household sounds that might disturb their sleep.

7. Feeding Your Baby

Feeding can be a beautiful bonding time, whether you choose to breastfeed, bottle-feed, or a combination of both. Each method has its own challenges and rewards, and the most important thing is that your baby is fed and that you’re both happy.

Tips: 

• If breastfeeding, make sure you’re comfortable and have support. A lactation consultant can be a great resource if you’re facing any challenges. Most of us go into breastfeeding assuming that because it's natural and time-tested, it will be easy. It often isn't, and asking for help is important. A consultant can help you with latching and finding better, more comfortable feeding positions that work for you and your baby.

  
  

• If bottle-feeding, be sure to follow guidelines on sterilising and preparing formula to keep your baby safe and healthy.

  
  

• Cluster Feeding Awareness: Babies often feed more frequently during growth spurts, known as cluster feeding. Understanding this is normal behaviour can help you feel less worried and more prepared during these intense periods.

8. Navigating Postpartum Emotions

The postpartum period is a time of significant emotional change. You might experience the "baby blues," which are common and usually pass within a couple of weeks. However, if feelings of sadness, anxiety, or overwhelm persist, it could be a sign of postpartum depression. It’s important to talk about your feelings and seek help if needed. We've provided some useful online resources at the bottom of this guide and would encourage you to reach out to your medical providers for assistance.

Tips: 

• Keep the lines of communication open with your partner, family, and healthcare providers. Don’t be afraid to seek professional support — it’s a sign of strength, not weakness.

• Postpartum Support Groups: Connecting with new mums experiencing similar feelings can be incredibly validating. Many communities offer postpartum support groups where you can share and receive support.

9. Bonding with Your Baby

Bonding isn’t always instant, and that’s okay. Whether it happens immediately or takes a little time, bonding with your baby is a process. It can be nurtured through everyday activities like feeding, cuddling, talking, and playing. The bond you develop now will form the foundation of your relationship for years to come.

Tips: 

• Sing to Your Baby: Singing or talking to your baby can strengthen your bond, even if it’s just narrating your day. Your voice is soothing and familiar, and it’s a great way to engage with your baby.

• Mirror Play: Babies love looking at faces. Use a mirror to engage in face-to-face play with your baby, which helps them learn about expressions and emotions while also reinforcing your bond.

• Try baby massage to connect with your baby. It’s soothing for both of you and can help with digestion and sleep.

10. Returning to Work: Finding Your New Balance

If you plan to return to work after having your baby, it’s normal to have mixed feelings. Finding a new balance between work and parenthood can be challenging, but it's entirely possible with some planning and support.

Tips: 

• Explore your options for flexible working arrangements, and start planning your childcare early. Remember, it’s okay to feel a range of emotions about returning to work — give yourself grace as you adjust.

• If possible, ease back into work with a gradual return, such as starting with part-time hours. This can help you and your baby adjust to the new routine more smoothly.

• Keep Open Communication: Regularly check in with your employer about your workload and any adjustments you might need. Flexibility is key in balancing your new responsibilities.

11. Celebrating the Little Wins

In the whirlwind of new parenthood, focusing on what isn’t going perfectly is easy. But it’s important to celebrate the small victories — getting through a tough feeding, a quiet moment with your baby, or even just taking a shower!

Tips: 

• Break down your day into small, manageable tasks. Celebrate each one you accomplish, whether it’s getting dressed or making it through a feeding without stress.

• Keep a journal of the little wins each day. Looking back on these moments can lift your spirits and remind you of your progress.

WHERE CAN I GO FOR MORE HELP?

• The New Zealand Government, Te Kāwanatanga o Aotearoa, provides a wealth of information in an easy-to-read and search format on its dedicated site, SmartStart. Here, you'll find everything from health and nutrition to mental well-being, behaviour and development, finances and budgeting, child education, and returning to work. The resources contain relevant information for families who are just trying for a baby and then cover children up to six years of age.

• Health New Zealand, Te Whatu Ora, provides detailed health information around pregnancy, birth and labour and caring for tamariki through to the age of five.

• Plunklet Whānau Āwhina Plunket offers a Pregnancy and Parenting Education Programme, and their site contains many useful resources for caring for your new baby.

• Many women suffer from postnatal depression, and it's important to get the right help. If you are concerned for yourself or about a friend or member of your whānau, there are some useful resources online. We would always advocate reaching out to your GP as well. Plunklet Whānau Āwhina Plunket provides information on what to look out for and what you can do to help yourself or someone who needs your support. The Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand is also a very useful resource.

•  You can call Healthline for medical advice over the phone for yourself or your whānau. The service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

• I keep the New Zealand Posions Helpline phone number 0800 POISON (0800 764 766) in my emergency contacts. While we hope to never need them, they are very knowledgeable and will help you prioritise your next steps should an accidental poisoning occur.

Do you have any amazing advice to share? Please post your tips for new parents in the comments below. After all, we already know that it takes a village.

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Are you thinking about booking newborn or baby milestone photographs? We recommend booking as early as possible in your second trimester for newborn photography to ensure you can get your preferred date. If your baby is older, and you have a particular milestone in mind (such as when they are sitting but not yet crawling), we recommend booking as early as possible to ensure you can secure a session as close to this milestone as possible. Once booked, there is flexibility to shift your baby’s photography session if they haven’t reached the milestone by the session date or if they reach it earlier than expected. We have limited sessions available each month to ensure everyone gets our very best.

Christchurch newborn, baby and children’s photographer Kirsten Naomi Photography